Lets Write a List

We all have time.

I read a fab article on the 2 minute rule, which really got me thinking. I f you haven't heard of it you can read it here:

2 Minute Rule :)

Whether I have 2 minute or 2 hours, how I use my time makes a difference to myself, my toddler, my husband and my house. Sometimes it helps my mind and emotion and the depression-type feelings that I have, other times it doesn't. In fact sometimes I feel a bit more worse for wear and exhausted.

About how I'm feeling when I'm down: I don't think I can be told just to just snap out of it. I can't be told to just cope. Unfortunately for me and all involved in my life this is an illness (post natal depression/post natal illness). When I'm not feeling down I wouldn't say I was up! I would describe it more as being on a temporary plateau. I sometimes have an occasional happy moment in a day. Today for example my little one sang Incy-Wincy Spider to me! He was cute if I can say so myself!! It doesn't get more exciting than that!

On a down day, its rubbish, some days I can put on a 'normal' face and other times I really just can't.

I probably appear rude. My friends probably think I can't be relied upon. Maybe they shouldn't rely on me!

So, time...

My toddler has recently started nursery. - Pressure.

Everyone now tells me "its good for you, you must be loving it" and they tell me what I should do to fill my time!

Yes, I know I should do more house work (no, I don't do much. I feel rubbish and lethargic most of the time and I have a fight with myself just to get up off the sofa.) But I've managed to get through the day, again, somehow.

What has helped me?

Well... Today I wrote a list of things I achieved and that lead me to do just a little bit more.

I got up and gave my toddler breakfast.

I got him to nursery.

I ate lunch. (I sometimes don't- not good)

I put away some toys.

I then sat down for a while looking at the list, then thought, lets hoover the living room. cherry on the top. For me this has been a good day!

I got up, moved my body to do something in the house! I quite often escape the house and go to a group with my little one or wander round some shops or something. Thats not that good and not productive. It just kills time. But I think part of the way on getting better is realising what needs to change. I hope so at least.

Physically doing something different however is definitely harder.

I think I will write a list another day. - Daring!